Silent Film #1

My friend, Ant, and I like to make Silent Picture films, we decided.


Obviously, I want him to die.




In the end, I succeed.

I killed somebody important once.

I have recently been enlightened by a new friend.

She explained to me that in life there really are no coincidences, but rather, plans. See, the universe has these ideas for each of us.

Yesterday I ran into someone that I didn't particularly care to see; a recent ex lover of sorts. In busy downtown Pittsburgh, it isn't so likely for two people to cross paths when either of them could be anywhere else in a more likely 40 mile radius.

I couldn't help but begin to tell the friend I was with what a strange coincidence it was. She dismissed my idea of our mutual concurrence at that specific parallel on that specific plane as anything but a coincidence.

"The universe"; she said, "brought you two together for a reason."

Reasons beyond my knowledge apparently. I have no interest in being brought together with this at one time thought to be magnificent boy. Not anymore. So what the fuck does the universe know, or think it knows, that I don't?

Maybe it's punishing me. Trying to pull one over on me, eh?

And so, tonight. Tonight I'll fall asleep wondering if in another life, maybe, just maybe I killed someone. Maybe karma hates me.

It made me run into him yesterday, completely unannounced, yet was benevolent enough to not make me see him with his new/old girlfriend..and then..! Then, a little later on Primanti's ran out of cheddar cheese (which I happen to hate) so the waiter put provolone on my salad instead, which I believe makes for particularly good karma, yeah?

So that's me in a nutshell today: self proclaimed killer in another life.

My Not-Suicide Note

I have had this ongoing fear of being murdered for a while now.





It's not my apprehension of death that makes me cringe as much as the thought of my assassin setting up my death as a suicide.

What would people think?
My loved ones would think that they failed me as loved ones,
My enemies (if I have any) would laugh at the pathetic situation I had become.
Those who didn't know me would simply gawk at the dilemma, because that is what the detached do. Tragedies of just another person are always fun to look at and into.
That is because taboo excites us. Admit it! You are guilty of tuning into the news, 90% or more of which is filled with the missing, raped, and dead. I always digress...

When you kill yourself, everyone's perception of you changes in an instant.

Please know that there are few situations in which I find death a more appropriate option than living. Torturous predicaments. Physically painful, near-death-anyway sorts.

So, in the case that I am ever found hanging from a ceiling fan, or face down in a pool of my own blood with a gun in my hand, please find comfort in knowing that I did not do this to myself. Some asshole out there is just trying to get away scot-free.

Get 'em!

Let's Just Get One Thing Straight.